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_92.webp "A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”")
_parade-college-ki-ladkiyon-ka-kiraya-maff-jammu-ke-conductor-thechatterbox.webp "The Chatter Box")
_canteeni-mandeer-124124-ravneet-124124-govt-college-for-women-parade-jammu-124124-latest-episode-124124-mh-one.webp "MHONE Canteeni Mandeer")
_thais-pray-for-rain-with-the-help-of-a-cartoon-cat.webp "Thais pray for rain with the help of a cartoon cat<br/><br/>As a heatwave grips Thailand, villagers parade through the streets of Phayuha Khiri District raising the Japanese manga cat Doraemon into the air to call for rain.<br/><br/>Video by AFP<br/><br/>Subscribe to The Manila Times Channel - https://tmt.ph/YTSubscribe <br/><br/>Visit our website at https://www.manilatimes.net <br/><br/>Follow us: <br/>Facebook - https://tmt.ph/facebook <br/>Instagram - https://tmt.ph/instagram <br/>Twitter - https://tmt.ph/twitter <br/>DailyMotion - https://tmt.ph/dailymotion <br/><br/>Subscribe to our Digital Edition - https://tmt.ph/digital <br/><br/>Check out our Podcasts: <br/>Spotify - https://tmt.ph/spotify <br/>Apple Podcasts - https://tmt.ph/applepodcasts <br/>Amazon Music - https://tmt.ph/amazonmusic <br/>Deezer: https://tmt.ph/deezer <br/>Tune In: https://tmt.ph/tunein<br/><br/>#TheManilaTimes<br/>#tmtnews <br/>#thailand<br/>#phayuhakhiri <br/>#doraemon")
_canteeni-mandeer-govt-college-for-women-parade-jammu-124-ravneet-124-latest-funny-episode-124-mh-one.webp "MHONE Canteeni Mandeer")
_parade-college-campus-ka-kalakarseason-episode-1-part-1.webp "TRP")
_woman-shares-her-adopted-dog39s-first-moments-of-joy-outside-the-shelter-video.webp "A proud new dog owner has taken to TikTok to share her adopted pet's first taste of freedom outside the shelter.")
_parade-college-ki-ladkiyan-who-was-the-first-prime-minister-of-jammu.webp "The Chatter Box")
_big-bang-show-govt-degree-college-for-woman-parade-jammu.webp "The Earth News")
_vespa-world-days-day-1.webp "With Pontedera already teeming with thousands of Vespisti from all over Europe as well as further afield, from countries such as the USA, Canada, China, Thailand, the Philippines, Vietnam, Kuwait, Australia, Colombia, Japan and Argentina, the 2024 edition of the Vespa World Days event officially started – the annual gathering that brings together national Vespa Clubs from all over the world. This year, it is being held in the birthplace of the Vespa, in the town where this iconic vehicle has been produced non-stop since 1946. This edition of the event is also particularly special as it celebrates 140 years of Piaggio: the company was founded in 1884.<br/><br/>The inauguration of the Vespa Village marks the beginning of this huge party for the Vespa fans who have come in their droves from all corners of the world: from today until Sunday 21st April, the Village area – located in Piazza del Mercato in Pontedera – will be brought to life with events and shows, with several exhibition stands available to visit. This includes the official Vespa stand, where the entire range will be on display, plus merchandise available to buy; elsewhere, a food & beverage area will also give Vespisti and visitors to the event the perfect opportunity to get together, celebrating the spirit of the Vespa clubs.<br/><br/>On the occasion of the kick-off of the Vespa World Days 2024, a Vespa GTS 300 was presented to the State Police in the town: this special Vespa model will join the forces of law and order as they open the spectacular parade on Saturday 20th April, which will make its way through the most beautiful places in Valdera. It promises to be an incredible procession stretching more than 10 kilometres in length: in addition to the eight thousand Vespas that are officially registered for the event, thousands more are expected to join, many already on their way to Tuscany. The State Police Vespa will subsequently be displayed at the State Police Car Museum in Rome.")
_canteeni-mandeer-124124-ravneet-124124-shri-mata-vaishno-devi-university-katra-124124-latest-episode.webp "MHONE Canteeni Mandeer")
_moyemoye-12-fail-momo39s.webp "JK Channel")
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