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_92.webp "A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”")
_indiana-ohio-strong-tornado-threat-live-storm-chaser.webp "Storm Chaser Tyler Kurtz")
_rationality-rules-blasts-david-wood39s-resurrection-video-is-he-right.webp "Apologetics Roadshow")
_britain39s-oldest-dancer-who-is-39always-up-for-fun39-turns-103-today.webp "Britain's oldest dancer has no plans of slowing down - after turning 103 today. (Tues)<br/><br/>Fun-loving Dinkie Flowers defies her age by still dancing almost every day.<br/><br/>She was born in 1921 and has been dancing since the age of three - going on to be an international ice skater and stage star.<br/><br/>Dinkie even made her first TV debut on the BBC's 'The Greatest Dancer' in 2020 aged 98.<br/><br/>Dinkie has travelled the world to showcase her skills, including a show in Baghdad to dance in front of the Royal Family and performed for Prince Phillip at an Ice Gala in Paris in 1952.<br/><br/>The inspiring dancer turns 103 today (7 May).<br/><br/>Dinkie says: \")
_clayton-littlejohn-rational-belief-in-action-rationality-amp-reasonableness.webp "Figments of the Brain")
_reason-vs-emotion-124-the-way-of-the-rational-mind-stoicism.webp "Forged")
_musician-duane-eddy-dead-at-86-elo-keyboardist-richard-tandy-dead-at-76-umg-and-tiktok-agree-on-licensing-deal-mrs-doub.webp "Rock 'n' Roll guitarist Duane Eddy dies at 86. The Rock & Roll Hall of Famer was credited as the first stand alone guitarist of the genre. Best known for his iconic 'twang' sound, Eddy inspired a generation of other artists including Bruce Springsteen, George Harrison, and Steve Earle. He passed away on Tuesday following a battle with cancer. Electric Light Orchestra keyboardist Richard Tandy dies at 76. With a career spanning over 50 years, Tandy made a remarkable impact on creating the band's iconic synth sound. He joined ELO in 1972 until they split in 1986, but rejoined when founding member Jeff Lynne revived the group in 2014. His passing was revealed by Lynne on social media, writing 'He was a remarkable musician & friend and I'll cherish the lifetime of memories we had together.' UMG and TikTok agree on new licensing deal with music catalog to return to the app. After a 3 month standoff, the two companies have come to terms on a new agreement which will allow music from all UMG represented artists to return to the app. In a statement on the UMG website, CEO Lucian Grainge states 'This new chapter in our relationship with TikTok focuses on the value of music, the primacy of human artistry and the welfare of the creative community. Mrs. Doubtfire original cast members reunite. Lisa Jakub, Matthew Lawrence and Mara Wilson who played the Hillard siblings in the 1993 film reunited in a photo shared on social media. The trio reminisced on their time with the film in their own individual posts, writing 'So funny that the same week I went to San Francisco, I got to reunite with my Doubtfire siblings!' and 'still feel like my siblings- even 30 years after filming Mrs Doubtfire.' In today's birthday news: singer Engelbert Humperdinck turns 88, actress Christine Baranski 72, designer Donatella Versace 69, musician Alain Johannes 62, actor/wrestler Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson 52, athlete David Beckham 49, actress Ellie Kemper 44, and race car driver Kyle Busch 39.")
_the-war-on-rationality-124-steven-pinker.webp "Big Think")
_steven-pinker-on-rationality-and-its-limits.webp "UnHerd")
_major-incident-declared-at-city-hospital-with-patients-urged-to-stay-away.webp "Patients have spoken of the dramatic moment they were forced to evacuate a major city hospital 'in the dark' after a critical incident was declared.<br/><br/>People being treated at the Bristol Royal Infirmary said they heard what some thought was an 'explosion' as they were plunged into darkness and told to leave the site immediately.<br/><br/>Multiple emergency services remain at the scene in Bristol city centre after what hospital bosses have since described as a 'power outage'.<br/><br/>But those forced to flee said there was significant confusion about what was happening - with some claiming it was a ceiling collapse and others saying sparks were flying causing a fire.<br/><br/>Lisa Davidson, 50, a housewife from Bristol, was having a blood infusion inside for Crohn's disease.<br/><br/>She said: \")
_feel-first-think-second-is-our-brain-really-cut-out-for-the-modern-world-124-big-think.webp "Big Think")
_a-simple-mind-trick-will-help-you-think-more-rationally-124-big-think.webp "Big Think")
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